Its official. I'm 22 and never have I had a date on valentines day. Its a little past midnight, making it the fifteenth, though I wasn't holding out much real hope since around the eighth. Well, fuck it. The only real reason that this upsets me is because valentines day (or V.D. Day, which is great not only because it repeats "day" but also because it sounds like V.E. Day. Also, Venereal Disease Day, which is also hilarious, in a really stupid sort of way) is the one day out of the year that I would really have a chance to be able to pull off the whole romantic persona thing. I know that I will never be the type of guy that is all fruity and emotional and can really get the women swooning. But on just this one day out of the year every guy is given a chance. Every cliche in the book works wonderfully today. Start out with some flowers and chocolate, move on to the candle lit dinner, champaign, maybe a gift of some sort of jewlery. We tend to think of valentines day as a day created by card companies for women. But I believe that secretly it was created in some darkened basement by a group of men, who knew, knew it through and through, that they had absolutely no idea how to romance women. So for one day, 24 short hours, they conspired to make every lame idea a man has ever had to win a girl over a reality. Its sort of a mystical day in that. Even the most socially inept men out there can't help but succeed on this one day. Well, maybe not the most socially inept, i.e. me, since I am sitting here writing this when the rest of the world is ...in bed.
I bought some easter candy today. You know, shake it up a bit.
Normally on Wednesdays cheb and I go out for dinner, but today I got out of one of my classes and went to the store and ate earlier. I thought at the time that I was only eating because I was insanely hungery. But, upon reflection, something about going out with cheb to dinner on V.D. Day didn't sound like the best of ideas. No offense to cheb, I just don't think I could handle making a lot of stupid jokes whilst couples around us were all romantic. I think it would have put me into some sort of shame spiral. Or I would have punched some jerk out. It would have been funny, but wrong!
I don't know, V.D. Day isn't really getting to me that much. I don't really feel like I am missing out on too much on days like this, a lot of work and spending of money to impress someone that is either supposed to be already impressed by me or someone that I no longer should have to impress. But still, it gets my brain thinking, is this how its going to be next year? And the next? Fuck it, no sense worring about it now, after all, I have a whole other year to work that shit out.
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Seriously, dude. Fuck it. Who knows what could happen next year, maybe you could swoon a girl. That would be really cool. I don't think you're an ugly guy, if that counts for anything. The social part... well, we can't all be fun and games all the time. Some people are just different. Maybe you'll find a girl who respects and understands that about you. Here's to hoping and to (hopefully) temporary solitude.
*clink*
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