Disgrunteled (un)employee

There are a lot of coffee shops next to where I live right now. I mean, there are several. Anyway, I didn't feel like going to any of them today so I got in the car and found a place... somewhere, I don't know, where I don't exactly know where I am. The manager said she was looking for emloyees and as I haven't really started looking for a job as of yet I said "yeah, give me an application." But I don't really want to work in a coffee shop. Nor one that I'd have to drive to, considering how close I am to others. But so far today all I've done is read and watch a couple of episodes of south park on my computer. And now I'm sitting here so that I can use the ineternet. Pretty fucking exciting. Fuck, sometimes I wonder what the hell I'm doing here. Okay, most of the time.

But I feel like it will be good for me, even if I spend most of my days in my dinky apartment reading and fucking around on my computer. It is nice to get out for an hour or two every now and again though. I can walk to a movie theater from where I'm living. It's not a huge theater, but its got like five screens that can hold probably about two hundred people per. But in the days its only $5 for a mantinee and there are hardly any people in the theater. Almost a cliche of a single man in the city, I feel. But its quite enjoyable.

I feel better out here. I don't know what it is. Although I always did suspect that reno was sucking the very soul out of me. I even got what I figure is a more or less completely bullshit parking ticket today and I didn't even feel that annoyed by it. Slighlty, but nothing like when things went wrong for me before. I don't know, I suppose its just that I'm happy, at least for the moment. I'm scared out of my mind that I am going to spend months here and start hating everything about it because I'll be losing whatever it was that made me feel good, but I don't really think that is going to happen. I'm trying to make something out of myself. I just have to be patient, I guess. I feel like I should be going faster on getting things done (mostly my writing) but I know that when the time is right I will not only be able to write what I feel I need to write but also that I will be much more passionate about it than I have been in a little while.

That probably doesn't make a whole lot of sense, but whatever, I don't know how else to put it. And I really have to pee, so talk to you later.