loud noises

Today I found myself, for possibly the first time in my life, jealous of people who have held a job for many years. The longest I've spent consistently working in a place is one year. The longest I've ever really wanted to be in one place is less than a year, though. Which in a weird way seems out of character for me, since I tend to be very consistent in most things I do. I dress the same as I have for many years, drink the same sodas, beers, juices. Go to the same stores, watch the same types of movies, read the same types of books. Sure I branch out from time to time, but I stick with things that I like.

That last bit there is why I think I was jealous, I do stick with things I like. I have never really liked a job. I've had one job I almost liked, but there was enough about it that I didn't like that I wasn't willing to stick with it. Why is it that it has to be so hard to find a job I like?

There are a lot of people out there that say "No one ever really likes their jobs, they just do them." That just isn't true. Its the same sort of logic as staying with someone in a relationship just because its a relationship and you have someone there with you instead of being alone while you look for/wait/hope for someone you do really like to come along. People are too eager to say its just the way it is to justify why they've settled for something they don't like.

So I suppose as I say I am jealous of people who've stuck it out I mean I am jealous of those that have found jobs they really like. It is a lot like being jealous of people in a happy relationship when you aren't. Some part of everyone wants that stability. In some that stability is important enough to accept it wherever they can get it, in people like me its something that is worth waiting for the right thing to come along. It just gets fucking frustrating, but at least I can feel comfortable knowing that I haven't given up, that all the frustration and the annoyance of constantly being on the lookout for a new job, for the right girl, for things to fall into place, is worth the suffering (and I use suffering loosely here).

I can't complain too much. Right now the only thing that I can really say that I want is for my goddamn air conditioner to actually cool the room my computers in. Other than that I'm pretty much set for the time being. And after writing that last sentence I went and got a fan set up in here, so I'm all good.

I don't know what job I want. I can't say for certain what it is that I think I should be doing right now. But I feel justified in my position. Like I haven't quite completely given into the pessimistic view of life that others have, and I'm quite glad of that.