Resolution Week 2: Electric Boogaloo

The "Jesus, that went well" Edition

So in less than a week since my last posting I've already failed at keeping any of my resolutions. Except for the non-resolution of keeping up a posting on it for more than one week (boo-yah!). For next year I'm thinking I should make a resolution to get new auto insurance, which would be way easier to keep and also I could hear hilarious snide comments from the Progressive girl.


No, really, she's actually quite charming

So what have I been up to, then, in my failing methods of resolutioning. Resolutioned. Resolutionizing. What indeed? I can't really answer that question. I was planning on being on the second week of a diet and fully employed by this point, so mostly I've just been sitting around being bored out of my mind. The other day I went to the thesaurus to see if I could find a synonim for how bored I was. And while I did find out that "a board is a committee having supervisory powers, a plank, or food served to lodgers" (and what sort of supervisory powers include a plank and food service? ....GASP! Pirates!) I could find now word to describe my listlessness. I did, however, come up with a buddy cop screenplay that included the previously mentioned Progressive girl and Paige Davis from the RC Wiley commercials.


That's some fine police work.


I will grant that it is possible I am going a little nuts being cooped up and not really accomplishing anything. Although I'm still managing to have stress dreams that cause me to wake with a fear that I've got a big presentation at work today I'm not ready for. Then reality sinks in and I pop open a can of diet coke and apply a liberal serving of cartoons. It turns out that changing ones self is harder than they make it look on TV. Apparently one moment of good will does not in fact turn you into a better person for the rest of your life.

The surprising part is how little I really care about things. I've always had a "something will come up" attitude towards life, and lately that attitude has started to manifest itself more and more, to a point where I figure I'm just as likely to come up with something while sleeping late into the afternoon and plotting how I can better incorporate the eating of cocktail wieners into my daily life. I suppose this week has just been a week of apathy. I realize that I have little control over things in my life. I wish I could make things happen that I want to have happen, but at the end of the day I can either look back and see a lot of time wasted chasing after some abstract notion of success or I can look back and see a day devoted to proving the hypothesis that Mr. Pibb + Red Vines = Crazy Delicious.