I've decided that I need to have a place that I can go and sit and be totally alone. Just a place with a fountain and enough foliage that I can pretend that I don't live in a city for a few minutes. It took me a long time to realize that that was really what I wanted when I was going out to Bibo. I got a few minutes behind the Mt. Rose store by myself and I could think and write out some random thoughts. Then some random middle aged women wandered out and started talking about dog parks and sprained ankles. I have trouble just turning everything off and sitting back in my own apartment, even when I am alone. There are just too many distractions. If I am not writing then I am watching TV or playing video games. I can't seem to sit down and quietly collect my thoughts anymore.
There aren't enough spots like that in the world anymore. I mean, there are a lot of places people can go and sit and be alone with their thoughts, but not in cities. And I don't want to have to drive out to a mountain range and then go on a ten mile hike just to have five minutes to clear my head. Not to mention as soon as I got up there some family with the obligatory two and a half children would wander up, and they'd see me and come walking up and then get all in my face crying about how their child has just been brutally ripped in half by a bear and pleading with me to put the legs back on. Just put the legs back on!
Today has not been a great day. I'm trying to get through it, but it just sort of keeps going on. Every time I sit down to try to write about how pissed off I've been at the world all day it just makes me angrier. I tried to write a joke here, but they come off sounding bitter and self-pitying when I write them whilst feeling angry at everything. I suppose this will have to be enough blog for now.
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