The Internet Be a Dangerous Place, say I

Things don't work out in life by going in a straight line. That is something that I have worked out. I take two steps back for every step forward. I go off in random directions. I can't seem to get anything to work out the way that I would like it to. I probably never will.

I spent some time thinking about what I would like to do with my life. I realized that I was always very interested in fiction and in journalism. So I am creating a site that will sort of incorporate those two elements.

It probably won't work out the way I'd like it to. But maybe it will. I can never tell. I can't work for other people. I just don't have that humble employee mentality. I always think that I know better than my bosses. The fact that I've been proven right more often than I've been proven wrong hasn't helped to get rid of those thoughts.

I used to think I would end up getting a pulitzer and a nobel and some other awards. I've realized that those awards won't be forthcoming in my life. I used to think I was a genius trapped in a lazy mind. I've learned that isn't the case. But I am smart, I am ambitious. I can't work for other people because I like to go my own way. I can't work for other people because they are always just working for someone else. I need to be at the top. I'd rather be at the top of a thousand failed experiments than at the bottom of a successful one.

I'll never be someone that you can tell your grandchildren "well, I knew him when..." I am just going to go my own way. I'll find a way to make money off of it. I'll be content for at least a few months out of my life.

This might not make a lot of sense to other people. I keep a lot to myself. But this is sort of a manifesto for myself. Hopefully it will make sense to others by the time I'm done.