Three posts in three days is almost a record for me. And I've got three plastic boxes full of books next to me. And there are three good Star Wars movies. That doesn't really have anything to do with anything.
I do need three letters of recommendation to apply for the University of Southern Maine. I've got two solid ones lined up. I don't know where I shall get the third. If I wait for like four more years I could have Dr. Chitwood write me up one, and they'd say "how do you know a doctor of History from Princeton?" and I'd say, "Oh, there's a lot you don't know about me." That's what I could say, all of this assuming zach actually would write me a letter of recommendation. And seeing as I think I mispelled recommendation... wait, okay, I spell checked and no I didn't, apparently, though I did mispell mispelled. Several times now. But it's better my way. I don't see any reason for double s's. What is this, 1939 Germany? Fucking SS's in words give me the creeps. Of course I see at least one example of double SS's in a word in this paragraph, so, yeah, whatever.
I was planning on finishing about three books this weekend. Instead I've watched several silly movies and I was just watching Spin City on my computer for the last three hours. It's a funny show. Stupid, but funny. And not always that stupid. Okay, always that stupid. I don't have to defend myself here. Hey I'm not on trial. Not like all those damn SS's officers. Fuckers.
Some of the pressure I was under yesterday has gone away. For the first time in a long while I feel like I can really relax for a while and not feel like crap about myself. I keep feeling like I'm not living up to my potential. But I got my diploma in the mail the other day and its sort of relaxed me. When I was on my trip I was just fucking hard all day everyday trying to find interesting things, travel far distances, meet strange people I could work into characters. And the whole time I felt like crap because I didn't feel like I was getting anything really done. But then I look back on it and realize thats how I felt all through college and now I have this shiny new diploma to show for all that crap I wasn't getting done and it reminds me of how it all adds up.
I want to send a story in for publication this summer. I really need to start trying to get some stuff published if I want to get anywhere. I'm doing an online workshop with some classmates of mine and its going alright. I suppose, I've not really been much of a part of it yet because I couldn't do the discussion last week. But they are keeping it going and its nice to have a reason to really try to get some shit done over the summer when its so easy to just kind of fuck around with a few story ideas and not finish anything. Although I haven't finished anything this summer. But I'm in a sort of perfect storm of ambiguity and confusion and disinterest and some other weird emotions that, while they could be good fodder for future stories, make it nearly impossible to write anything right now. I've got to either hit the eye of the storm or get the hell out of it before I'll get much done, I think.
I just jammed myself in the eye with my finger trying to get an eyelash out. I'm glad I didn't use a pen to get it out like I thought about.
I really should go to the store. And clean out my car. I need to pack some stuff in there and its just a mess. And theres a cobb salad from yesterday in there that I'm starting to worry about. Really worry about. But fuck, its really hot outside. And I'm wearing clothes I'm too embarresed to be seen in public wearing. Even the parking lot. Parking lots are the real downside to aparment living. I don't like being out there cleaning my car, anyway. They all watch me, and wonder how a guy could have that many packs of cigarettes and soda cans in his car at once. Really, three trash bags full? They ask in mocking silence. Listen, I realize I generate a fair amount of waste in my day to day life. And really, I'd do something about it. But in a surprise ending I'm actually a villian from Captain Planet, whose evil plan to pollute the world so that property values will plummet and I can purchase the land and then clean it out and dump the waste into a school playground and then sell it for several times what I paid for it. Bwahaha!
Also, I just hate cleaning out my car.
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4 comments:
Dear Sirs and Madams of the University of Southern Maine,
Although in your northern climes the senses are bombarded with the lush foliage and fauna which abounds within the confines of your state, we who roam the arid deserts of the setting sun are thankful for the sight and scent of even a solitary verdant plant. Most precious of all is the desert flower, a specimen of spectacular beauty blooming for only a few days, compared to which the Mayflower and other sylvan wildflowers are veritable Methuselahs. Such is the candidate about whom I write, a sapling whose first literary buds have begun to bloom, whose writings bulge pregnant with promise. Shall you so to speak plant another Plymouth sapling amidst so many other like trees, or instead water and grow this desert flower, thereby "enfolding sunny spots of greenery?"
Respectfully Yours,
Zacharias Rex Chitwood III, Doctor philosophis historiae ab universitate Princetonensis et scriptor de epistulis consolationis pro amicis veteris, qui officium in Byzantina historia non invenit et nunc procurator noctis McDonaldsensis est. Haec espistula Kalendum Augustae anno Domini nostri 2011 scripta est.
“Zacharias Rex Chitwood III, Doctor of philosophy of history from Princeton University and writer of letters of letters of encouragement for old friends, who did not find a job in Byzantine history and now is the night manager at McDonald’s. This letter was written the Kalends of August in the year of our Lord 2011.”
That rocks. Seriously. If only it were 2011 so I could use it... wait! A time machine!
*zoom*
oh, wait, that was just a microwave. Good news, though, my hot pocket is ready.
I'm thinking of just taking that and having it be the template for the other letters of recommendation.
Dude, I would actually eat at mcdonalds if you had your doctorate and worked the night shift. Well, at least at that mcdonalds.
i'd just go into whatever mcdonalds is closest to me and demend special service because of my connections.
maybe i'd hold up that letter of recommendation as proof.
that letter by the way was one of the funniest and most impressive things i've read in some time. i know want to hire mor to work for me
Cleaning cars is some old bullshit.
-Adam
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