I Don't Want To Wonder If This Is A Blunder

I couldn't get a handle on the articles I was working on for Tin God, so I instead decided to come here, where there is absolutely zero pressure to produce something even remotely entertaining.

Things have been looking up a bit in the last couple of weeks. I've really stopped caring so much about things. There was a flow, and I was afraid to jump in it, but now I am in it, and I have no idea where it is going, but I am going with it nonetheless.

We shall see how things are going to work out, but I gave up listening to that little voice in the back of my head that tells me I'm an idiot, so it should at least get interesting.

You see, normally I just hate myself, but lately I've learned to be completely indifferent to what I think of myself. I mean, logically, if I hate myself, why the fuck should I care what I think of myself? Right? That sort of makes sense.

Whatever, I'm feeling good. I feel like I could take down a bear. I mean, given adequate prep time. And a bear trap. And a shotgun. And a hunter... a bear hunter.

Thinking about it, there was something that happened recently that I think might have freed me a little from feeling like a worthless human. I sort of got some closure on something. I didn't think it was something I needed to deal with. But I think by dealing with it it gave me back a part of myself I had lost for a while there. Because, for whatever reason, everything is running more smoothly all of a sudden in my life. Maybe it wasn't that, but I just feel more open to life then I have in a long time.

I love this blog. When I go back through old posts (which isn't often) I will find strange paragraphs like the one above and have no idea what the hell I was talking about. It sort of makes me a mystery even to myself. Yet here it is, for everyone to read. Complex, no? No.

If you haven't seen it yet, I got an article published on Cracked.com. I'm trying to get another article on there, but there is a lot of competition and as a result it could take a while. But, as of this posting, there were already 650,000(!) hits on that article.

Goddamn how I wish my website got hits like that.