Saviour Of The Universe

Note: if you came looking for Wed-Da Sci-Non Ext-Ga pt. 2! And are perturbed to find some rambly post instead, I suggest you scroll down. Then scroll back up and read this post. Or read them in whatever order you want. Or not at all. I don't give a fuck.

I threw on some Queen and "Don't Stop Me Now" came on and I realized that, although I have sung along many times, I have no fucking clue who the hell this "Lady Godiva" is that he is "passing by like". And yes, that sentence ended in a preposition. So I looked her up on el Wikipedia and realized she was a smoking hottie that rode through town naked to protest taxes, well, supposedly at least. I was going to say something along the lines of "why don't tax protesters do that now?" then I realized they probably had, then I remembered they were fucking crazy:

Pictured: Fucking Crazy

All this got me thinking, though, that the metaphors in "Don't Stop Me Now" don't make any sort of sense. Let's examine a couple of them, shall we?

Lyric #1: I'm a shooting star leaping through the sky like a tiger, defying the laws of gravity.

It's sort of like he sort of crammed two metaphors in there and hoped no one would give a shit. And, largely, no one did. But at the same time, shooting stars are just small hunks of space debris burning up in the atmosphere, as they are falling, to the surface, due to gravity. And, as far as I know, aside from certain Crouching Tigers, no tiger can actually defy gravity either. Of course, everything is subject to gravity. Everything but Penelope Cruz's cleavage .

I get it, I mean, what he's going for with that line, but you don't get to be a shooting star and a tiger in the same line. Unless its some sort of crazy PSA.

Monkey's and Tigers have lived peacefully for all of time. Except for all those times Tigers have eaten monkeys.


Lyric #2: I'm a rocket ship on my way to Mars On a collision course, I am a satellite I'm out of control, I am a sex machine ready to reload, Like an atom bomb about to, Oh oh oh oh oh explode

I shall skip the pointless comments I could make about this and go straight to the visual:



Yes, I took time to actually photoshop that. You're welcome.

Look, I think the song fucking rocks, and it will probably long outlive me. All I'm saying is that if you actually think about all the things he claims to be in that 3:32 minute rock-opera, you will realize one of two things: (1) Freddy Mercury has a personality disorder, or (2)He is the rockingest, fucking awesomeist, King of All Mankind. I'm going with number two. He taught us all how to be awesomer, and he will live forever for that achievement.